One Year Ago

Since we just had Amelia's first birthday (and Claire's third) I've had a lot of moments lately where I am so vividly transplanted to last summer, one year ago, and how very different our days are now.   It's funny how memory works.... while I can't look at Amelia and see her as a newborn or especially Claire as a newborn, it's more the sensation of what it was like that I feel if that makes any sense, the way a familiar smell can transport us to our childhood so vividly.   The memory I had exactly was that on this day one year ago, Greg went back to work after his two weeks off and I remember seriously wondering exactly how I was going to make it through the day by myself with both kids.  And it happened to be a heat wave and was 95-100 degrees and humid and we had to stay inside all day with the bedroom air conditioner on downstairs.  I guess I can't say I'm necessarily 'nostalgic' for those feelings in those first weeks, although of course there's many parts of having a newborn for which I am nostalgic.  As I make plans for us for the summer ahead, it is just more apparent how this summer is so different from last summer, and the summer before with just one toddler.  There was something about the transition to two kiddos last year that was so intense for me, in a way that was different than having Claire.  Even today I struggle with feeling like I provide both of them with enough attention, but last summer Amelia was such a needy newborn, poor thing, and Claire was such a needy toddler, and of course with the intense sleep deprivation I think I felt very worn, depleted and slightly trapped at home.  It was hard, but good as are most transitions.  Anyway, with all of these feelings from thinking about our lives a year ago, trying to enjoy our life right now and planning for the summer ahead I just had to look through our pictures from one year ago.  There's nothing like the incredible, amazing growth and change done in the first year of a baby's life to make you look back on the past with wonder, and a touch of longing, at how fast it goes.  

 One of Claire's more loving moments with Amelia.  Always heartmelting.  And Claire looks like such a baby herself compared to today!

 As a labor nurse I really should appreciate that yes, babies are that small, but seriously, she was really that small??

 Never thought my lap would get such a workout over the course of one year

 Reading books.  My continued answer of what to do when both of them are clingy and I am tired.

 I do miss the afternoon snuggly naps

She used to just fall asleep all the time, it was hysterical.  Sooooo different than now, ha!!